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The Cosmic Librarian

I Look Up as I Walk-Ue o Muite Arukou


Walking along, looking up, so that the teardrops won't flow out of my eyes

  I look back on a spring day on this lonely night. A good fortune is beyond the clouds.

A good fortune is beyond the sky.

  So I'm looking up and I'm looking forward, imagining that good fortune in the future.

English translation of lyrics of ‘Sukiyaki’ or ‘Ue o Muite Arukou’ by Rokusukay Ey

   The following post is very much spur-of-the-moment, and I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors, especially those involving words in Japanese.

  February 14, 2014, I was doing my grocery shopping at my neighborhood supermarket. I was walking down the aisle with shelves of soups and sauces. As I approached near the end of the aisle, I glanced up and observed two of those quart-sized soups- in- a -bag literally fly off of the top shelf and land on the floor with a splat. A man with a shopping cart had just come around the corner when the two containers landed right in front of of his cart.  The soups were tomato and there was a red, slippery mess left on the floor. The man's eyes flew wide open, and he looked at me and said, " I didn't do it!". I told him, "I know you didn't do it!". He moved his cart past the mess, without doing a thing to address the slippery mess on the floor. I walked over and moved the containers out of the middle of the aisle. As I turned the corner, one of the store employees happened to be standing there speaking to a couple of customers. I excused myself and told her that there was clean-up needed around the corner. I also told her what happened and how. She said, "Oh, that's our ghost! " I told her " I know." She said, "No, really! There is a ghost that stays in that aisle." I repeated, " I know!". The two customers were standing there with their mouths open in disbelief as they listened in about the 'ghost' in the soup aisle.

   As I made my way through the store, I tried to connect to whoever or whatever it was on the soup aisle. I got nada.

   When I got home, I unloaded the groceries and put them away, and went through my usual routine of taking care of the pets, eating dinner, etc. Later I went upstairs, did a little bookkeeping and called my boyfriend, Richard. I told him about the incident at the store and we chatted about other things. After hanging up, I was cleaning up my desk and getting ready to listen to 'Dreamland' on-line when I realized that I was humming one of my favorite songs from childhood. I wondered: Why am I humming 'Sukiyaki'?

   I pulled up the song and listened to it on YouTube, and felt such a connection that I downloaded it from iTunes. When I first heard 'Sukiyaki' when it became a hit here in the U.S., I was 10 years old. I struggled to learn the words, never knowing their true meaning. Nevertheless, it moved me and I never forgot the tune. I also remember vividly how I fell a little in love with Kyu Sakamoto, the singer who recorded the song that was a hit that summer so many years ago. I never saw him perform the song, and I never saw a photo of him either, but in my mind and heart, I knew exactly how he looked. After downloading the song last night, I started doing some research. I knew that the name of the song here in the U.S. made no sense because the feeling that was conveyed in the song appeared to have nothing to do with Japanese cuisine. The translation of 'Sukiyaki', as shown above, expresses some very poignant lyrics.

   I also discovered that the singer, Kyu Sakamoto, died at a fairly early age---he was one of 520 people that died in the worst airline disaster ever in terms of loss of life, Japan Airlines flight 123. Read the link below about the disaster, and also please note how the Japanese refused assistance from the U.S.A, to locate the downed plane and its victims. It was truly horrific, and the people on that plane suffered greatly for about a half hour before it crashed into a mountain. After it crashed, many survivors suffered even more due to delays in search and rescue by the Japanese. It was a travesty.

   My feeling: There is no 'ghost' at the H.E.B. grocery store in my community, but there is a portal. (There are many in this area). I believe Mr. Sakamoto was giving me a signal to pay attention and that he came through that portal and followed me home. I also took the time to look up a photo of Kyu---I was not surprised to discover that he looked just as I pictured him way back in 1963.

   Before going to sleep that night, I asked for some validation of the things I was sensing, and what it was all about. During the night, I had a dream of me in a two-story home similar to the one that I live in now. In the dream, I remember getting ready to go through a set of double doors into another room when I noticed that the floor had given way on the other side of the doors, and it was a sheer drop to the first floor below. As I stood there, I could physically feel, in my real body, the floor shaking beneath my feet. I also felt that where I was standing was about to collapse as well. I remember a man, and I also remember grabbing a child and yelling for everyone to get out of the house immediately. In the next scene, I was standing outside looking at a house that was half destroyed. Neighbors appeared and began helping to tear down the rest of the house, since it was hazard for everyone.

  The next morning I was reading our local newspaper, The Austin American Statesman. I rarely read the sports section, but that day I felt a need to check it out. One of the surprises on the front page of this section was an article about two prominent Japanese runners who would be participating in the line-up at the Austin Marathon this year. (In an odd twist, these two men were favored over Kenyan runners that usually finish first in this race.) The two runners named were Masaki Hori and Toyoyuki Abe. A couple of pages into the sports section, I also read that a Japanese man, Yuzuru Hanyu, had captured the gold medal in figure skating at the 2014 Olympics in Sochi. The first line of that story: "Sometimes an Olympic gold medalist is more survivor than anything else." This man fell down twice and still won the gold! (And also note in the NPR piece linked below that the 1964 Olympics are mentioned)

   I also began thinking about the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant and how Japan is making the same mistakes with that disaster that they did with JAL Flight 123--- they are refusing help from the United States. Fukushima is an ongoing problem since the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami in 2011, and the company that is responsible, Tepco, still does not have the problem under control, although they claim that they do, and that the situation is under control.

   I was on a roller coaster of emotions the morning of February 15th, and in tears through much of it. This hit me on such a deep level, and I fear for Japan if they don't wake up quickly. There may be another disaster there very soon, and the entire island of Honshu will suffer. Keep in mind that there is a subduction zone off the east coast of Japan, and that the northern part of Honshu, and the location of  Fukushima nuclear power station, have not stopped rocking and rolling since the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami in 2011. My only hope is that through the additional suffering that may be coming soon on Honshu, any survivors will be a different breed of people. They will also be the hope that is expressed 'Sukiyaki' and a gold medalist capable of falling, but winning. I also find hope in the fact that many people of Japanese descent are also American citizens. There is some major karma going on with Japan and the U.S. that pre-dates WWII. They are so intertwined and healing must  happen soon, for the sake of each respective country, as well as the entire world.

Message from The Doves

“The Dove, on silver pinions, winged her peaceful way.”

                                                       James Montgomery

        On December 26th, 2011 I observed something very much out of the ordinary. I have a bird feeder in my backyard, and on that morning my friend and I were watching a small flock of Inca Doves sitting on the ground eating seeds that had fallen from the feeder. My friend walked away and I continued watching the birds. I love watching doves---while not colorful, there is a sweetness about them that I find very appealing. As I watched, they suddenly stopped moving. They all had their heads bowed, and they did not move at all. They appeared frozen. They sat there for so long that I called my friend to come quickly. For about a minute we observed this odd behavior before the birds began moving again. To quote my friend, "It was like something out of the 'Twilight Zone'!".

         My logical mind decided that the doves must have been aware of a hawk or other raptor overhead and froze as a survival mechanism, but in all my years of watching all kinds of birds, I have never seen this happen before. Doves usually just scatter when they sense danger.

        The next day an acquaintance in Brooklyn, NY mentioned on her website that the city seemed eerily quiet for the day after Christmas, almost as if in "suspended animation".

        Quite strange...

        More to the point, strange glitches in my own reality have become more common, and I have a sense that something major is coming, and that some of us are in training for the big event, whatever it may be. I do not have a feeling of foreboding, or even a feeling of an aerie-faerie Utopian future...just that profound changes are on the way and that we must keep our minds, and hearts, wide open for what is to come.

        December 26th happens to be my birthday. It is the anniversary date of eerie events in Rendlesham Forest 31 years ago, Whitley Srieber's first extraordinary events with other-worldly beings at a cabin in upstate New York, as well as one of the first great destructive, natural events of our century, the earthquake and tsunami in the Indian Ocean in 2004. My birthday is not particularly important, but it does give me pause when I notice events on that date and their impact on humanity and my sense of reality...even doves peacefully eating away at seeds and grain and freezing in the moment.

       These are exciting times, and I am so glad to be here! A very happy, and blessed New Year to one and all!

Suggested Links and Resources

'Communion' by Whitley Strieber



"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives."
Albert Einstein

    It has been quite a while since I posted my last essay, and in that time I have been busy with my personal and professional life.  I have, somehow, managed to stay connected, questioning of this thing that we call life, often taking myself outside the box in an attempt to figure IT ALL out. I find myself feeling more and more like an observer of IT ALL, while also experiencing IT ALL.

    So, just what have I been up to, and what the heck is IT ALL anyway?

    In my home office is a twelve-inch high statue of the iconic superhero, Wonder Woman. I have had a professional life for many years, while also raising a family and taking care of our home. I never set out to “do IT ALL”, but somehow I came pretty darn close during the last 30 years or so (At least it felt that way, especially after putting in over 8 hours a day at work, then rushing home to prepare dinner and wrangle a toddler before collapsing into bed and dreaming of sleeping late the next morning!). I guess my family may have paid me the ultimate compliment by gifting me with my own little award in the guise of Wonder Woman.

    I’m pretty sure that I am no Wonder Woman, but I do covet one thing that she possessed, and I mean more than the glossy, black mane of hair, spectacular figure, and friendships with Superman and other members of The Justice League, and the gifts of the Gods bestowed upon her at birth. No, I’m talking about that Golden Lasso of hers. The Golden Lasso was not only indestructible and strong enough to hold even the likes of Superman, it could restore lost memories, renew the body, protect those encircled by it, and compel those within its confines to tell the truth.  

    Several months ago, with all of the commotion surrounding the presidential race, I happened to think of Wonder Woman and her Golden Lasso. How would any of the presidential or vice-presidential candidates fare within the Golden Lasso? If you have observed as many political races as I have in my 50-plus years, you begin to know the drill. Quite simply, politicians will say or do just about anything to get elected. It doesn’t matter if the politician is male or female, black or white, liberal or conservative. It is never about Truth.

    What is Truth? Does anyone know for sure, and if it hit us in the face would we recognize it? Philosophers have pondered Truth for centuries, and all have come up with their own take on Truth.

    In Egyptian mythology, truth, justice, and universal order are exemplified by the goddess, Maat. Maat translates as “that which is straight”, and her symbol was a feather. In the Egyptian Book of the Dead, she played an important role, and it was in the Hall of Maat, or Duat, where the judgment of the dead took place. An important part of this judgment was the weighing of the heart, where the heart of the deceased was placed upon one side a scale, and the feather of Maat on the other. The deceased was judged good or “pure of heart” if the heart’s weight was less than that of a feather, resulting in the deceased passing into the equivalent of heaven, a place beside the god Osiris for eternity.

    This concept of Maat as Truth, and “that which is straight”, appears to have little to do with lying or telling the “truth”, but a lot to do with lightness, balance and order, a lack of chaos, and possibly a lot of what we call love.  Were the Ancient Egyptians onto something that most of the modern world has lost sight of?    

    For me, I have come to realize that through my whole life I have searched and searched for Truth. It has taken me down many strange paths, involved encounters with every kind of person, philosophy, science, creed, and spirituality. I have had glimpses of it while gazing up at the stars at night, in the face of my children, and in the last great sigh of my father has he passed from this world. I have felt it while listening to beautiful music, and in the song of the mockingbird echoing down the chimney in my bedroom on an early spring morning.

    I cannot define Truth, because to me it is not about what you say or even what you do. It appears to me to be a state of being, and either you are there or you or not. IT ALL would seem to be about Truth and the pursuit of Truth.

    Einstein may be on to something in regards to Truth in the quote at the beginning of this essay:

    “The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.”

    In Luke 18:15-17 of the New Testament, we also find the following:

    “…But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

    So, what are we to make of these two quotes in terms of Truth? I cannot speak for anyone else, but for me they mean keeping a sense of awe and wonder, and a sense of play in regards to exploration of our world and the Universe, as well as taking the time to see and appreciate the beauty that enfolds us all. Life may not be perfect and without pain, but I have seen Truth growing as a dandelion through a crack in a sidewalk. It seems to find its way into the world no matter what we do.  


...And a Happy New Year

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did.  So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.  Dream.  Discover."

—Mark Twain

    Every year in the weeks after the Christmas holiday season, our local municipal utility district encourages recycling of Christmas trees by setting aside a collection point within our neighborhood for the trees.  Weeks later, they haul out the shredder and create mulch from the trees, which is then reserved and spread out throughout the year at the hiking trails through out our neighborhood park.

    The last couple of years for me have been somewhat stressful, and without going into too much detail, suffice to say that they have been rough and challenging, as well as an opportunity to test my mettle and learn a lot of valuable lessons. Boy, have I learned some lessons!

    This morning I was strolling through the trails in the woods of our park, enjoying the songs of birds, and watching the squirrels scamper about, when I came to a familiar clearing under a canopy of live oak and cedar. The sun dappled down through the leaves, and I was astounded to see the ground sparkling like diamonds!

    “Wow! What is that?”

    Upon closer inspection, I realized that all that glitters is not gold, but possibly also tinsel from the limbs of hundreds of shredded Christmas trees. I laughed to myself, as I heard these words in my head:

“Everyday is Christmas, and today is your gift.”

And so it is…   

Beyond the Doubt: Faith vs. Belief

“Give God permission to use you without consulting you.” Mother Teresa<< MORE >>

Deciphering the Mysteries in the Fields

“Reality,” as you currently experience it, is something like a waking dream. It is a projection, or let us say an interface, disguising deeper and more intensified levels of being and knowing. For those who are ready and willing, the doors to those other levels now stand open. Daniel Pinchback, 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl << MORE >>

Channeling the Famous-Metaphysics and the Metaphor of Celebrity

“In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” Andy Warhol << MORE >>

Tribute to an Earth Sister

"I give you this one thought to keep; I am with you still - I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on the snow, I am the sunlight on the ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of the quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not think of me as gone - I am with you still - in each new dawn." A Native American Prayer-Author Unknown << MORE >>

The Epiphany of Being

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing There is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass The world is too full to talk about Ideas, languages, even the phrase 'each other' Doesn't make any sense. Rumi << MORE >>

Riding the Wave – Reincarnation 202

“It’s déjà vu all over again.” Yogi Berra << MORE >>


April 2014

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Recent Posts

  1. I Look Up as I Walk-Ue o Muite Arukou
    Monday, March 10, 2014
  2. Message from The Doves
    Thursday, January 05, 2012
  3. Truth
    Sunday, June 21, 2009
  4. ...And a Happy New Year
    Sunday, June 07, 2009
  5. Beyond the Doubt: Faith vs. Belief
    Sunday, August 26, 2007
  6. Deciphering the Mysteries in the Fields
    Wednesday, July 04, 2007
  7. Channeling the Famous-Metaphysics and the Metaphor of Celebrity
    Monday, May 28, 2007
  8. Tribute to an Earth Sister
    Sunday, May 06, 2007
  9. The Epiphany of Being
    Sunday, April 08, 2007
  10. Riding the Wave – Reincarnation 202
    Sunday, March 25, 2007

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